driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
