Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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