So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
