oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
