do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
