There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
