apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
