tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
