Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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