I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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