My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
