Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
