Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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