More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
