I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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