I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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