i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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