Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
