I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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