dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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