yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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