if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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