Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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