I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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