I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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