Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
