mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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