Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
