like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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