No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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