Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
