then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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