She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
