dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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