it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
