didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
