already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
