Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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