im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
