Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
