So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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