Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
