just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
