yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
