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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
