i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
