So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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