somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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