I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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