I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.