no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
