..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.