I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.