Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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