So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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