I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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