It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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