quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
