So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
