I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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