my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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