I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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