Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
