just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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