OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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