I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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